What is Beauty??? – ACHTUNG

Recently, The Body Shop released Ruby, an alternative version of beauty.  However, due to Ruby’s close resemblance to Barbie (which I’m not sure I see) they were forced to remove this advertisement. 

The truth is things like Barbie, beauty magazines, videos and television are shaping the way women and men view beauty.  Young girls and women are comparing themselves to an airbrushed opted photo, while men are taught to value beauty greater than the character content of a woman.  Very sad.

While some girls’ feel magazines make them feel fat and short, for me, growing up they made me feel extremely self-conscious about how tall and skinny I was.  Growing up, I was a gangly, emaciated-looking, 4-eyed girl. I was extremely skinny and try as I may, I couldn’t gain weight to save my life.  (Honestly, the skinny images of models displayed in magazines can’t compare with just how skinny I was.)  I hated it.

I didn’t see anything or anyone that looked like me as a standard of beauty. 

To add to my childhood disillusion of beauty, flipping through a magazine and finding an advertisement of an African-American or Asian model was as likely as finding a minority Santa Claus at Christmas time.  Thankfully, at least there was Naomi Campbell, Tyra Banks and Benetton ads to give me some sense of hope that minorities could be included in society's standard of beauty.

This topic of beauty is actually an ironic topic for me, given I use to model.  Interestingly, what I gained most from modeling was how to walk tall, embracing my height and skinny frame.  (Apparently, that was something lauded in the world of modeling.)  And, then sports entered my world and really took care of the rest.  Sports taught me that being different was good, and I appreciated it in others.  It also taught me how to be self-confident and how to care less about the opinions of others.  And I learned that true beauty begins on the inside. 

Funny enough, society's standards of beauty is always changing as if it were the newest season’s fashion collection. 

I mean it was only a hundred years ago where a fair complexion, thin lips and a full body was a symbol of beauty in the Western world.  Now, we’ve emerged to a time where women are spray tanning for a darker complexion, starving themselves and injecting their lips with collagen to have fuller lips.  Who’s defining your standard of beauty?

I dream of a day where defining beauty isn’t found in a Kim Kardashian reality television show, but rather as something seen as radiating from the inside out.  I wonder what a beauty pageant like that would look like??? 

Beauty can’t only be skin deep?  Or is it?

As per Ruby, maybe Mattel may get inspired to make a Barbie more representative of the average person.  And while they’re at it they should go ahead and make a gangly, awkward, 4-eyed version as well. ;)

You are Beautiful,

Nicole

DEBATING AGE: Youth vs. Wisdom

Yesterday at the World Championship in Daegu, Korea the disqualification of Usain Bolt in the 100m final was a huge surprise, but what also gained attention was the spectacular Bronze Medal run by Kim Colins who is 35 years young.  Now if you have been watching Kim's performance all year, including his multiple personal best performances, his medal win should not have been a surprise. 

The problem is Kim is in a track event where athletes are understood to peak in their mid to late 20's....so says the limited mind thinker.  But, as I've said before the face of elite athletes is changing, thanks in part to better training knowledge.  I believe the real limitations in athletic performances is not necessarily the age of an athlete but the limited thinking/perception of capability an athlete has because of their age. 

The topic of age is an interesting one... For adults it is considered taboo to ask someone their age (unless of course they are an athlete or celebrity at which point their age is common knowledge).  Often aging is associated with negativity while youth is celebrated. 

Tied to nostalgia, youth represents boundless possibilities and potential – a better tomorrow. Ironically, when we’re young we are bombarded with unique images of beautiful, airbrushed models and Ads advocating a new and improved version of ourselves . We are constantly told through various mediums that what one is not wise enough, thin enough, or beautiful enough – simply put “just not enough". And as that person ages, that message becomes – “You are too old! Better hurry, life is passing you by!” Certain standards of life are put into place as measuring, how far you’ve come in life, and where you’ll end up.

At what moment in life will the message be to be content?

Personally, I can’t help but think of how much naivety I held about age, when I was younger and my lack of comfort of being in my own skin. But, I’m growing up and getting a little bit wiser, day by day and loving the skin I'm in. As my mom says ‘You can’t get wiser without getting older.’


I believe the physical impact of aging is merely a reflection of how we take care of ourselves along the way. Most people are so busy taking care of everybody else that they forget to take care of themselves, and physical aging can bare its truth. However, to paint everyone with the same brush for being old because of a simple number, reflecting one’s age is not accurate. Life is an individual experience and so are the effects of growing old.



Life is beautiful and it should be. It’s about daily self-discovery – daring to fail and daring to succeed. We should never give anyone the power to decide our expiration on potential. If your not where you want to be, when would NOW be a good time to start?


Remember -- “Tomorrow is always fresh with no mistakes in it!” ~ Anne Shirley (from the movie Anne of Green Gables)


Unpainted,
Nicole

The Truth About My Wednesday's Relationship Corner - ACHTUNG!

So, I’ve been blogging about relationships and matters of the heart for almost a year now.  It happened by chance when I began blogging about “The Game” and realized there was an interest in this topic.  Blogging on relationships were initially not the easiest or my favourite thing to do.  However, overtime I’ve grown a liking for these blogs.  And for some reason they incite the most responses, emails and offline discussions. 

But, what surprises me most about these Wednesday’s Relationship Corner blogs is the interest male readers have shown.  As a female I'm well aware of the "girl chat" perspective of relationships; but, hearing the interest of males on my meandering thoughts, I can’t help wondering whether the true hopeless romantics are men.

Whatever the case is, at the end of the day I think the only thing that people are seeking is to love and to be loved in return.  So why do people play these “games?”  Part of me can’t help thinking it has to do with not feeling worthy enough. 

People like what they can’t have and anything that is not a challenge seems to be undervalued.  Seems strange, doesn’t it?  Think about it… How many people do you know who have blown off someone who was a good person, but for whatever reason, they just weren’t "into" them, even though they were willing to give the world to that person.  It's almost like they unconsciously tell themself, that something must be wrong with anyone who could TRULY like them for who they are AND not because of their job, money or success. 

How many times have you done the blowing off???  We've all done it. 

To quote Oprah, "there is a difference you know, between thinking you deserve to be happy and knowing you are worthy of happiness."  You are worthy!

 The truth of the matter is we have got to start loving and treating ourselves the way we desire to be treated.  And I believe when you do this, you are in the position to be receptive of the person that is willing to treat you like the King/Queen you truly are instead of settling for the dud that makes you work for their attention. 

You’re worth it,

Nicole

Relationship Non-expert…. Just a girl with a blog

What’s it Like to Be You? - ACHTUNG!

The email read “What’s it like to be you? Do you ever have to pinch yourself because of the awesome accomplishments you have and continue to make?” 

Over the years I’ve received various emails, but this was one of those emails that stopped me in my tracks.  Initially a smile came across my face and as I contemplated my answer my smile was followed by a concerned feeling...


Image by reuters Fadi Al Assaad


The truth is I probably haven’t taken enough time to revel in my accomplishments, thus far.   And, yet shamefully, I’m probably more aware of my shortcomings along the way.  I am a high achiever and a perfectionist, which can be a double edged sword.  It can push me to dig deep and find a way in the face of impossibility, but it can also give way to frustration.  So, it is a balance I am constantly striking.      

Just as someone may work hard and be rewarded with a promotion, I see my athletic and academic achievements as the fruits of my labour. And just as it is for most people, it hasn’t been an easy ride.  There have been (and will probably continue to be) setbacks, tears and challenges along the way.  But, all of it only rebuffs, refines and reaffirms our commitment to the goal at hand. 

 

This was truly an endearing and complimenting question.  It made me smile and consider things pleasantly from a different perspective.  However, it’s important for me to impart that I believe every one of us have amazing life stories of achievements!  They may not come in the form of a medal or championship title, but they are achievements just the same.  And the truth is we are all capable of even greater things to come!

 

I look to people like Mother Theresa, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela, Helen Keller and Oprah has proof of what is possible for any of us to manifest in our lifetime on earth.  They were/are mere mortals… and aren’t we all just the same?  To leave this world better than how I’ve entered it and to be transformational in my efforts is a life I’d define as living. 

So, a big thanks to the person who sent me this email.... And no, I never pinch myself.  I do pat myself on the back for a job well done from time to time, but, ultimately, I think while my life experiences may be different from others I believe we all share the same emotions life has to offer.... and probably the real triumphants in life may not be seen on a podium.

No pinching,
Nicole

Smells Like Teen Spirit

As a HUGE music enthusiast with the most eclectic collection of songs, my Sunday’s Lyrics was initially based on the lyrics of songs I enjoyed immensely.  I’ve shared songs that have moved me to tears like “One” and songs that inspire me to dig deep like “Ali in the Jungle.” 

Music is powerful!  It can make you happy, glad, inspired and it can heal.  Too often we may like a song without actually listening to what is being said and so I wanted to shine the light on lyrics.  Overtime I’ve expanded my Sundays to include the likes of poems and stories I’ve found inspirational or to carry a heavy meaning.  I usually write a little blurb on my interpretation of the lyrics and how I apply it to life. 

So, today I thought I’d share a song, I loved when it first came out and memorized the words long before you could “google it” to find out what was being said.  It never fails, to this day, when Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” is played I’ll start singing along and someone will inevitably say “You know the words to this song???” 

See, although this song was a chart topper most people didn’t know the words to it.  And if you did you’d realize it didn’t make sense... AT ALL!  Lyrics that contradict each other and reflects meaningless (as Kurt Cobain once explained.)  Think about that for a second. 

Should songs have meaning?  And if not, why are lyrics important?

 

Smells Like Teen Spirit – Nirvana

Nirvana - Smells Like Teen Spirit (1) von Electric_Eye

Load up on guns
Bring your friends
It's fun to lose and to pretend
She's overborne and self-assured
Oh no, I know a dirty word


Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello ,hello
With the Lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now entertain us
A mullato an albino
A mosquito my libido
Yay

I'm worse at what I do best
And for this gift I feel blessed
Our little group has always been
And always will until the end

Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello
With the Lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now entertain us
A mullato an albino
A mosquito my libido
Yay

And I forget just why I taste
Oh yeah I guess it makes me smile
I found it hard it's hard to find
Oh well whatever nevermind

Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello, how low?
Hello, hello, hello, hello
With the Lights out it's less dangerous
Here we are now entertain us
I feel stupid and contagious
Here we are now entertain us
A mullato an albino
A mosquito my libido
A denial

Sorry, I Can't Be Anymore Real Than I am - ACHTUNG, Baby!

“Measure your success not by comparing your achievements to others, but by how close you approach your own potential. You may discover you’ll surpass exceptional along the way."  ~ Nicole Forrester

Last week, I wrote a blog about being real, and as I anticipated I was challenged about my own authenticity.  It was from someone who didn’t know me, nor followed my blogs to know of the various tell-all blogs I’ve shared.  Just someone, who probably looked at a profile picture of me and assumed I was filled with self-conceit.

What I took from that comment, was the importance to impress upon all that I do not wish for anyone to envy my life.   I wish only to be an example of the different cards life can hand us and what is possible, in spite of setbacks or rare beginnings. 

I've been deliberate in my use of social media to show all sides of myself, while also daring to discuss those taboo topics.  It's actually a tough line to tow sometimes, because of the various hats I wear, but at the end of the day I don't want to be shackled by a false version of myself.  I just want to be me... outspoken, silly, humerous, academically minded, consummate multitasker and whatever else that includes.

Some stuff I’ve shared have been good and some of it bad , including going to the Olympic Games, finding a lump in my breast, being diagnosed with 20 brain lesions, my struggles with the high jump, my love of track and field, my hot dates with Mr. Dissertation, taboo topics/opinions and most recently my challenge with overcoming a serious foot injury and the list continues to grow.  My quest is not to be envied or declare my excellence, but just to be REAL.  This is me. 

In fact, the vice of envy and feeling not enough irritates me to no ends.  It is for that reason, (I’m ashamed to admit it, but) I am actually not fond of beauty pageants and anything that evaluates beauty.  Particularly, because of the message it sends to young girls… wishing they looked a certain way.  I know this, because I was one of those little girls. (This is actually an interesting story, I’ll have to blog about another time… especially considering I use to model.)

I don’t wish to create an image of myself that I can’t live up to.  Nor do I wish anyone to ever put me on a pedestal, because I will certainly be knocked off it at some point.   I wish only for people to recognize the sky is the limit and that anything is possible for anyone.  I mean if I can be discovered working at McDonald’s and go onto becoming an Olympian, who knows what is possible for anyone else.  And make no mistake, all that I have achieved and I am achieving I’ve had to work hard for. 

I cannot express enough my belief that we are each equipped to do amazing things in life.  No one should ever look upon another and wish they had their life.  Your life is amazing, and may be on the verge of blossoming. And if anyone makes you feel less of yourself or that you should envy them, DON’T!  They are probably far from being authentic and happy with whom they are. 

Any confidence you desire must come from the inside – by you recognizing how truly amazing you are, while also remembering to not compare yourself to others. Indeed there is room for the spotlight of success to shine on everyone.  You don’t have to put out someone’s light to make your's brighter than theirs.

It is my hope that my actions may inspire others, cause no harm and demonstrate my authenticity; for I am certainly far from perfect.

Measuring myself against myself,

Nicole

P.S.  Ok... Well, there may be one thing I'll stand on a soapbox and proclaim my excellence for... and compare it to Perdita Felicien's dry bread... My incredible Banana Bread...lol  :) You might have to taste it to believe it!   ;)

GET REAL: Being Authentic - ACHTUNG SERIES!

There is something incredibly refreshing about people who are real.  Over the years, I have found myself creating a circle of friends who are pretty real.  I always know where I stand with them.  Sure, there may be times I don’t like what they have to say and it may sting, but with time (usually 24hrs) I see their side, and often they were right. 

Sadly, far too many people hide behind masks, in an attempt to present their version of their “best self.”  What any and everyone wants is to feel like they matter…like they are important.  And through hiding behind these masks people attempt to gain that validation.  However, if you aren’t being authentic then people can’t really get to know and enjoy YOU.  Moreover, fake attracts fake… so if you are being inauthentic, well guess what?  You are going to attract friends, people and things that are inauthentic. 

Come on that’s not really living!

The notion of keeping up with the Joneses reflects this need by some to present an image of importance.  Think about it – sometimes people are so busy trying to provide the appearance that their life is so amazing and superior to others and one to be envied.  Facebook, Twitter, Youtube, Myspace and other social networks have become a perfect means of self-promotion and feeding this narcissistic behaviour.  But, the truth of the matter is anyone who is concerned more with appearing important and vying for validation from others, probably should be pitied.  This goes right back to my previous blog on pride.

People who are truly fulfilled in themselves do not have to stand from a soapbox and declare their excellence.  They are not concerned with appearing superior to anyone else.  In fact, they enjoy the success and improvements of those around them.  They are clear on who they are and what they believe in.  And their actions are not second guessed by what they anticipate the assessments of others might be.  They are authentic.

Last week, we lost Betty Ford and wise and brave woman.  I have much respect and love for her authenticity.  Her ability to honestly state her position on issues considered taboo during her time.  There was no mincing of words with her and you always knew where she stood.  The world should be so inclined to experience more authentic people.

I truly believe by being authentic and real you encourage others to be the same.  And really be loved, appreciated and of importance for WHO they really are and NOT how they think they should be.

Often, when I’m not sure upon an action I’m about to take I’ll take time to question my motive.  And if my motive is about currying favour for a measured appearance, I know that that action is not correct.  I encourage you to do the same and to go so far to ask how “real” are the people you surround yourself with? 

Getting Real,

Nicole

10 EASY WAYS TO LIVE A HEALTHY LIFESTYLE - Achtung!

TODAY'S PRESS RELEASE - Six Canadian Athletes in Elite Group of Olympic and Paralympic Athletes Sponsored by Visa "I'm thrilled to help Visa tell its Olympic story and join so many other world-class athletes who have benefited from Visa's support," said Nicole Forrester. "Team Visa has been ...

The most important thing that each and every one of us has is our health. WHY??? Well, you can’t take care of your family and those you care about if you can’t take care of yourself.  Think about it.  Do you ever notice that when you fly, the flight attendant instructs you to secure your mask on YOUR face before attempting to help someone else, in the case of an emergency?  They tell you that because if you lose consciousness you are not in a position to help those around you.

The same is true with life.  Remember the number one cause of death in North America is lifestyle related - also known as having an inactive and unhealthy lifestyle.  A massive heart attack or stroke can remove you from your family within 3 minutes of setting in.  Why not take time now to ensure you’ll be around for years to come.

Now I realize busy schedules, working long hours and various life duties can make being healthy challenging, so I’ve thought of 10 ways you can incorporate a healthy lifestyle and turn your life around right now, if you desire.

1. Control Your Weight.  You don’t just wake up one day and boom you are overweight… it creeps up on you, giving way to an expanding waistline.  Pay attention to your weight and manage it.
2. Drink WATER instead of JUICE/POP.   We are supposed to drink approximately 8 cups of water a day.  Water does a body good while successfully cutting out the sugar and caloric intake found in juice and pop.
3. Commit to eating healthy 6 days a week.  You are allowed one cheat day if you can eat healthy for 6 days.  And that means eating healthy with appropriate serving sizes, loading up on vegetables and fruits.  Try eating frequently throughout the day with smaller portions - your 3 meals – breakfast, lunch, dinner plus snacks (i.e. yogurt/apple) between mealtimes. 
4. Exercise your HEART.  Try adding some cardiovascular exercise such as walking, jogging, biking or swimming to your weekly activities.  Make it something you do 3 times a week for at least 20 minutes a day. 
5. Add Some Muscle. This is a good idea because it elevates your metabolism even when you’re doing nothing.  Greater muscle mass makes it easier to keep lean.  You can do this by adding strength training twice a week to your routine.  It could involve simple exercises like Squats, Lunges, Push-Ups, Pull-Ups, Crunches/Sit-ups.  You can do an exercise routine of just those 5 exercises with 2-3 sets of 15 (be sure to be slow while doing them) to benefit.
6. Explore the Athlete in You. Set Varying Fitness Goals during the Year.  Try running half a marathon or a bike race.   By setting a performance goal of running a certain time or maybe just finishing the race it gives you motivation to exercise. 
7. Use the Buddy System.  Recruit a friend or involve your family with adopting this healthy lifestyle behaviour. 
8. Adopt a routine.  Just like you get up each morning and brush your teeth, shower and get ready for work, having a healthy lifestyle means incorporating it in your regular routines.  So, if you commit to work out 3 times a week, schedule it and stick to it.
9. Pay-up First.  Anticipate feeling some Delayed Onset Muscle Soreness when first beginning an exercise routine.  Fortunately, the more you exercise the easier it gets!
10. Reduce Stress Levels.  Take time to think of the good things (a glass half full approach), sleep more, or set 1 hour in the week (or in a day) for you to just relax.

Committed to a healthy lifestyle,

Nicole

I'm Sorry versus Pride - Achtung Series!

Why is it so difficult to say the three little words “I am sorry?”  It goes a long way, but often too many times people struggle with uttering those words.

Try as we may, none of us are perfect.  We come with flaws and shortcomings I like to refer to as our character.  We may like to present ourselves in a fashion that masks our true character, but with time the truth is always revealed.  So, why not embrace our character, instead of hide from it?

I believe it might have something to do with that devious thing called PRIDE, which I recently blogged about.  Pride has a way of preventing humility to shine through and allow one to open one’s mouth and authentically say “I am sorry.”

If you stop and think about it, it is kind of pitiful because admitting one’s shortcoming usually carries with it an understanding and acceptance from the other party.  However, being too prideful to say you’re sorry really causes one to lose respect.  Indeed, pride carries with it a heavy penalty!

I’ll be the first to admit there have been times I’ve struggled with saying I’m sorry or admitting I was wrong.  Personally, there is something that makes you feel less of yourself or capabilities.  Ironically, when I think of the times people have apologized to me, I can’t help having a greater respect and admiration for them, in spite of their shortcomings.

Perhaps, instead of noticing the shortcomings of others we should spend more time noticing our own imperfections and when justly wrong not stumble with saying “I’m sorry.”

Some food for thought,

Nicole

COUGAR...Revisited - ACHTUNG SERIES!

An oldie but a goodie… I thought I would revisit a blog topic I wrote in 2008… Cougar…

For those of you who don’t know what a “Cougar” is, it is a term referring to an older woman, (usually in her 40s, 50s or 60s) who sexually pursues younger men (usually in their 20s and 30s).

There are few things I hate and the term Cougar is definitely one of them.  It is derogatory, demeaning and a complete throw back to the leaps and bounds the women’s movement has made.  To me it is even worse when it is endorsed by females.  And if you don’t have a problem with it, I have one question for you “Are you kidding me???”

Now, while I have dated younger men, it actually is not my personal preference. But, that’s me. (I also like anchovies with pineapples on pizza and room temperature water, but that's me again.)

I see no problem with a women or a man choosing to date someone younger. However, I do feel the word “Cougar” in reference to a woman is offensive, degrading and a sexist word. Since, when is it acceptable to refer to females with disparaging terms? And what makes this word more offensive is that it seems to be in vogue.

Men have been chasing, dating and marrying younger women for years, but socially it is deemed to be acceptable. Yet, a woman who pursues this same path is a woman on the prowl – hunting for the young victim man. How is it socially acceptable in this day and age to refer to a woman as a Cougar?

Besides if you really want to get technical about it, women outlive men by approximately 8 years and while the biological clock is said to tick for women, it is also ticking for men.  While, men will always have sperm (unlike women who lose their eggs with menopause) men over the age of 40 produce less sperm and more genetic abnormalities (Fisch, Hyun, Golden, Hensle, Olsson, and Liberson,, 2003;  Hampton, 2005).  Chew on that fact!  

I can’t tell you the number of 40s, 50s or 60s year olds who have tried to talk to me and to what male version word of Cougar do I have to refer to these men? Is it possible that they are equally interested in me because of my difference in age? Should I then call them mid-life crisis men? That’s pretty offensive and also not appropriate. How about we just refer to someone who prefers a younger person, to them by their actual given name? Everyone is allowed to have preferences and should not be stigmatized and/or stereotyped by it.

Achtung that!

Free to love whom ever,

Nicole

REFERENCES

Fisch, H., Hyun, G., Golden, R., Hensle, T.W.,Olsson, C.A., Liberson, G.L. (2003). The influence of paternal age on Down Syndrome. Journal of Urology. 169(6): 2275-8.

Hampton, T. (2005). Researchers Discover a Range of Factors Undermine Sperm Quality, Male Fertility. Journal of American Medical Association. 294: 2829- 2831.

THE AGING ATHLETE - Achtung, Baby!

On Saturday, I was watching BBC and saw that Janet Evans is currently training for the 2012 Olympic Games.  Who is Janet Evans?  Well, to freshen up your memory she is a former World Record Holder and a 4- time Olympic Gold Medalist in swimming, who retired in 1996. 

It seemed her age was the topic of discussion. Janet Evans is 39 years old. But, the face of athlete is changing.  For example, Lori-Anne Muenzer who captured gold in cycling in the 2004 Olympic Games at the tender age of 38, Stefi Nerius winning gold at the World Championships in Javelin at 37 years young or even Chris Chelios at the age of 48 playing in the NHL.  So, what was my reaction when I saw Janet was back in the pool? – “You Go Girl!!!  Now, that’s what I’m talking ABOUT!”  It reminded me of a previous blog on this topic I had written, and is worth revisiting.

Sports seem to be the one venue where discrimination on the basis of age is okay and tolerated.  Ironically, the landscape of sports is quickly changing.  I believe the real battle is for the archaic mindset of people to keep up.  People, including arm chair athletes, media, National Sport Organizations, Professional Sport teams and sometimes athletes themselves need to sit up and take notice.

The modern athlete trains under advanced conditions/knowledge, eats & recovers more wisely, and has the access of therapists who are constantly finding better ways to treat athletes. Knowledge is a click away with the birth of the internet and high quality 3-dimensional computer analysis for biomechanics. Facilities and sports equipments are also improving. All of these factors assist in extending the competitive life of an athlete. Doesn’t it make sense why athletes are lasting longer in their sports? Moreover, there is something called “mastery.” It takes an athlete approximately 10 years or 10,000 hours of deliberate practice to master a sport.

When an athlete starts performing poorly and they are older the natural tendency is to attribute it to one’s age – ‘they are getting up there in age so they are not as good as they were when they were younger.’ While, I acknowledge the effects of aging on the body, sometimes people may be experiencing personal problems, fatigue, and injury or just are in a slump... or maybe just human??? But, because someone is beyond a certain age common for their sport there is a natural tendency to attribute poor performances to age. This kind of stereotype is NOT acceptable in the workforce so why is it in sports. It actually is ageism and IT’S WRONG!

Ironically, parents unknowingly will clamor to have their child specialize in a sport at an early age with hopes of little Johnny becoming the next great one (citing figures like Tiger Wood as their example). What most people don’t realize is that Tiger Woods is the exception and not the norm. An athlete’s best chance at becoming elite is a resume which includes a rich, diverse sport background encapsulating many sports, while delaying specialization. Which, when done properly can extend an athlete’s life incredibly.  Very few athletes who are anointed the next great one actually achieve this predicted status.    

One last note – female athletes may not stay in sports as long as their male counter parts, not because of being too old, but because of a new passionate commitment to a family. They become wives and mothers -- carrying a child in their womb for 9 months and then engaging in caretaking and raising a family.  So to women like Janet Evans, mother of two, I give a loud support, cheer and applaud.

POOFing Ageism,

Nicole

References

Côté, J, Young, B, North, J and Duffy, P. (2007). Towards a Definition in Excellence in Sport Coaching. International Journal of Coaching Science. 1 (1): 3-17.

Erickson K, Côté J, Fraser-Thomas J. (2007). Sport experiences, milestones, and educational activities associated with high-performance coaches' development. Sport Psychologist. 21 (3): 302-316.

Fraser-Thomas, J.L., Côté, J., & Deakin, J. (2005). Youth sport programs: An avenue to foster positive youth development. Physical Education and Sport Pedagogy, 10, 49-70.

The Trouble With Pride

In true ACHTUNG style…

“There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which everyone in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else; and of which hardly any people, ever imagine that they are guilty themselves. There is no fault which makes a man more unpopular, and no fault which We are more unconscious of in ourselves. And the more we have it ourselves, the more we dislike it in others. The vice I am talking of is Pride or Self-Conceit.”  ~C.S. Lewis

The first time I read this I literally stopped dead in my tracks as I pondered this vice…. Was I a prideful person and is this really a bad thing? 

Over the years, I’ve debated this notion of Pride.  It’s been a hard one, especially being that I am an athlete and strongly value self-confidence. However, self-confidence is NOT Pride and is more akin to Humility.  And the one thing I am certain of it is that HUMILITY is a GREAT thing.  

“To be humble is not to have a low opinion of oneself; it is to have an accurate opinion of oneself.  It is the ability to keep one’s talents and accomplishments in perspective (Richards, 1992), to have a sense of self-acceptance, an understanding of one’s imperfections and to be free from arrogance and low self-esteem.” (Clark, 1992, p.33)

Personally, anytime I’ve met a person who embodies Humility I find myself wanting to be around them more.  And it’s not just me.  They have this “Je ne sais quoi” effect with everyone they encounter.  These people make you want to be a better you! 

So if Humility is the antithesis of Pride, does that mean Pride is a bad thing?  I think so… and yet it’s not like I believe I’m above it. 

In fact, I believe Pride just might be the Achilles heel of mankind.  

The problem with Pride is it involves admiration by others and it is not lasting.  It's there in feeling important because of the job, education, house, car, or experience one has; and the "important" people one desires to know and be friends with. 

The motive of passion is replaced by the need to feel magnanimous. For example, having a highly regarded job because it provides the prideful feeling of importance rather than having a job one is passionate about.

It is human nature to want to feel important.  But, really, if people valued themselves more and relied less on the opinions of others this urge would be fulfilled.  I’m sure people who exude Humility have mastered this.

Ironically, isn’t it funny that it is viewed in society as a good thing to have people want to be like you and have what you have? 

Similarly, Pride involves comparison to another– doing better than the next person.  To quote C.S Lewis “We say that people are proud of being rich, or clever, or good-looking, but they are not.  They are proud of being richer, or cleverer, or better-looking than others. If everyone else became equally rich, or clever, or good-looking there would be nothing to be proud about. It is the comparison that makes you proud: the pleasure of being above the rest. “ 

Feeling superior and above others…. How can this be a good thing?  I don’t want to be around someone who has this view of themselves.  Do you???

Sport is an interesting paradox because it involves being better than a competitor. We build heroes from victorious wins.  Yet, unknowingly, these pedestals athletes are placed on may become the same pedestals they are knocked off when they are no longer an athlete or performing as they once use to. 

The Hero-to-Zero complex is a very real problem for some athletes.   Often, athletes struggle with their identity being wrapped up in their sport.  If one finds value in being better than others because of their achievements, when they are no longer an athlete (or fail to achieve the same success they once had), that sense of Pride has been extinguished.

It may seem contradictory to argue against Pride being that I am an Olympian, but I will tell you my greatest performances have been achieved when I viewed the high jump bar as my competitor and not other athletes.  It is for this reason I often say “Measure your success not by comparing yourself to others, but by how close you approach your own potential. You may discover you’ll surpass exceptional along the way." 

Please understand, by no means, have I mastered my battle with pride.  It is something I am constantly working on... while I strive to know Humility. :)

POOFing! To Pride,

Nicole